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AFTER HOUSTON:

More Views on the IWY Conference in

BRIDGING THE DIFFERENCES

I was so tired I could barely carry my suitcase, filled as it was with flyers, buttons and feminist literature, but I looked forward to getting on that plane back to New York. A drink, a smoke and hope. fully I could put together the pieces of the past few days, since I was going to be alone now for the first time in half a week.

But seated in the window seat in my row was a pale, prim little woman in a navy blue serge suit, perhaps 44, with not a button or a badge to betray her politics. She's either Mrs. Middle America, 1 thought, or a member of the Opposition. No need to get involved. But she looked my way, saw my buttons, and there went my resolved. "Were you at the convention?" I asked. She nodded. "Wasn't it exciting?" I asked.

"I didn't think so," she answered in a quiet voice. Then I took the plunge. After all, I had suffered through three days and two nights listening, shouting, lobbying, voting, booing and cheering and not once had I talked to the Opposition. I had talked about them, ad nauseum, and scowled when they voted against my positions, but after all, who were they, these nay sayers who had opposed every proplan resolution that came to a vote? Suddenly I wanted to connect, to try to understand who they were and what they felt and why. So I extended my hand and said: "I'm Judy Lerner, delegate at large from New York." She, whom I shall call Jane, turned out to be a delegate from Indiana sent by a coalition of Protestant churchwomen. Indiana was one of the five states along with Mississippi, Alabama, Utah and North Dakota to vote against the pro plan platform which included the ERA, abortion rights and freedom of sexual preference.

I told her about myself, how I got into the women's movement through the peace movement, that I was a wife of 29 years, mother of three children, grandmother of one and a teacher who had worked most of her married, life. The rest was easy.

Jane came from a rural Indiana community of 1800 people. Her husband was a mason. She ran a small upholstery shop from her home. They had four children ranging in age from 14 to 22. Jane certainly considered herself a liberated woman who did not need an ERA to protect her rights. She was not a member of any women's group. She was her own person. She also told me that this was her first trip in a plane, and confided that she had not shared this with the other members of her delegation. "Not one of them could tell," she said with pride.

The sandwiches came and our conversation warmed up. She glanced at one of my buttons: "All the Way with ERA.” “You know," she said, "I'm not totally against the ERA. I certainly believe in equal pay for women. But I am against drafting them."

"So am I," I countered. "I don't believe in the draft for either men or women. I was against the war in Vietnam.

"I was too, she declared. That gave me the courage to proceed on abortion rights. She heard me out, shaking her head ever so slightly, but never challenging me. I was surprised. She did not pursue the issue because I did not come across as a wildeyed radical and she was hearing these arguments from a woman not too unlike herself. She said simply: "We have our differences. We can live with each other in spite of them. That's what makes our country great.

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But missionary me, once started, couldn't stop. I went on to sexual preference. I asked if she had `ever known a gay person. She hadn't. Did she think it was fair to judge people by their sexuality rather

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than their humanity? "Perhaps not," she said, "but certain practices are evil in themselves."

"That's how I feel about violence and war," I declared. "When you and your friends turned your backs on us and bore silent witness against our vote for freedom of sexual preference I was reminded of the time when our women's peace group stood in silent vigil outside the White House in protest against the war in Vietnam."

I think this got to her. "You know," she said, "I told my delegation that I would never vote against any battered wives or child abuse resolutions.'' And she told me something else I'm certain she didn't tell the members of her delegation, namely that her father used to beat her mother when he would come home drunk on weekends.

Then she went on to tell me about the women in her life: her greatgrandmother who with her husband had settled and farmed the wilderness, and about her maternal grandmother who was an inspiration to her until her death at the age of 89. Yes, the women in her family were strong, independent and liberated. They had helped to build this country. Jane's pride in her female forbears matched her pride in her country. I told her about the women historians at the convention who were doing oral histories of American women and suggested that she might record some of her own family's history. She loved the idea. I promised to send her some books about pioneer women.

We talked about women meeting like this, strangers sharing intimacies as well as differences. We agreed that men could never do this. Jane and I would have ignored each other on the convention floor, but meeting like this in a personal way helped us to establish a dialogue which, if continued, could bridge some of the differences between us. We shared our womanhood. It was the IWY Convention that made it possible.

We parted in Atlanta. My mind was filled with visions of conversions and unifications. I wondered if Jane was having the same kind of thoughts. Then I began to have doubts. Knowing myself, did I really believe that Jane could convert me to her beliefs? Did I believe I could convert her to mine? My thoughts returned to the opposition on the convention floor. Those women prayed for us, their faces pinched with hostility. And Jane was one of them.

I recalled an incident that had occurred just a few days before we left for Houston. A Westchester right to life church group, women and men, over 100 of them, disrupted a meeting of about a dozen of us, including some delegates, who had gathered privately to discuss the abortion issue. After we left, they held a prayer meeting. Yet I had reached Jane. Why couldn't I reach them?

I have been pondering this ever since my return home and have concluded it can be done. With patience. With understanding, with flexibility, humility, persistence and above all, a sense of sisterhood. One to one encounters, such as mine with Jane, are important. We must learn when to persist, and with whom. We must close ranks among ourselves and join with other oppressed groups in their struggle for equality. I intend to write to Jane. Perhaps I shall get to Indiana. Perhaps I shall get to talk to a Baptist church group there. I think Jane would love it as much as I would.

Edited from article by Judy Lerner, Feminist Bulletin

Dec. 1977

ROCK

Well, the National Women's Conference is over; the 1,442 delegates, 18,000 observers, 1,700 reporters and 15,000 Schlaflyite protesters have gone home; and the Women's Liberation Movement has neither collapsed nor triumphed as variously predicted. It has, however, been cleaned up, de-loused,

Images collected predominatly from CPF

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Roar on the Right..

The "Family Day Rally" was held across town from the National Women's Conference on November 19. The 15,000 people gathered there represented the coalescence of three previously disparate conservative forces: the right-to-life movement, the anti-ERA group, and homophobic evangelical christianity. These groups have managed to pull themselves together under the slogan "pro-family''. Backed by religious and right-wing money and claiming to represent "the majority of Americans", they could shape up into a dangerout political force. I had been away from southeast Texas for a decade, but when I stood in the midst of 15,000 people singing gospel songs, wildly applauding every anti-lesbian statement, and being blessed by an assortment of clergy, I knew I was home. Confirming that impression were the klan-like gents in zippy black and gold uniforms hanging around the entrance and the white supremicist who advised me to check out the "Jewish influence" ("Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug") in IWY.

Following various prayings, anthems and pledges of allegiance, the rally opened with a speech by Lottie Beth Hobbs, president of Women Who Want To Be Women, who explained, "Why a Pro-Family Rally?" (To save our "American Way of Life.""") Anti-abortion forces were represented by Nellie Gray, head of March for Life, and Dr. Mildred